This is merely Part I so is not intended to be in anyway definitive. More will occur to me I'm sure.
Hopefully they'll occur to other comics too and they'll get in touch for inclusion in the inevitable Part II.
1. Steely Dan - Deacon Blues
As used over the end credits of the excellent documentary movie Comedian, this slice of fried gold pulls the great confidence trick true of all good stand-up. It seems effortless, but only because of the attention to detail, craftsmanship, commitment and hard work that's gone into it.
Lyrically, "my back to the wall a victim of laughing chance, this is for me the essence of true romance" is a bit of a give away. But also "and die behind the wheel", surely I can't be the only road comic to envisage a fatal accident on the way back from Lincoln on a Tuesday for £80?
2. Sixto Rodriguez - A Most Disgusting Song
Yeah, audiences, we're totally on to you.
Any song that starts "I've played every kind of gig there is to play now" is a shoo-in for this list, but his spot-on physical and psychological break down of the audience goes from poetic affection to utter digust.
A couple of the lines...
"every night it's the same old thing, Getting high, getting drunk, getting horny"
"They're all here....who mislay their dreams and later claim that they were robbed"
Is he singing about the crowd or the fools in the cap and bells upon the stage?
3. Half Man Half Biscuit - Bad Review
I can't thank Andy Robinson enough for introducing me to this revenge-fantasy-rant.
"Who the hell does Jeff Dreadnought think he is? Was he even there? (I ask myself) Does he even care? (don’t kid yourself)"
Change Jeff Dreadnought to Steve Bennett and you've got a phrase that's probably said in every green room at every gig on every night.
There've been many a night where I've driven back from a confused audience singing this at the top of my lungs. Did I say many? I mean - a rare few. Obviously.
4. Simon & Garfunkel - Keep The Customer Satisfied
A well-respected, established and hilarious act once told me that he reckoned if he started being 'shit', he'd have six months grace from the circuit before he stopped getting work. Personally, I can't see that happening as the act is really very good - but I do think of him every time S+G bellow
"I'm one step ahead of the shoe shine"
Yup, I'm six months away from teacher training.
If you have any suggestions.... comment away, but give reasons. It'd be great to get a whole double album of these songs.